By Calm Weddings Photos by Jen Hart 'I do' picture Extract from ‘The Wedding Planning Book for the Deviant Bride’ by Victoria J.Brown Here are a few wedding myths. However, we suggest if you would like to know more about wedding traditions, there are plenty of books available that can help you with this information. General Superstitions

  • Favours – This tradition has been around for hundreds of years. Historically jewels were given to the bride to represent health, wealth, fertility, happiness and long-life. As time has moved on, it’s the guests that receive a small token gift, the tradition evolved to giving each guest five sugar coated almonds, with the same symbolic significance.

How many times have you been to a wedding, where you have received a bag of sugar coated almonds? You should be grateful for whatever gift you receive, plus the belief behind the almonds is thoughtful, emblematic and generous. However, let’s admit it, it’s boring! And most people hate them, they get passed around until the one person who does like them ends up with more than they can devour. The deviant bride should see the giving of favours as an opportunity to give your guests something that will ensure they remember your wedding. Something they won’t throw away after the ceremony, something they may use in the future. However, other deviant brides may not want to give favours. There are no rules, no law or wedding guidelines insisting that favours are given, so if you don’t want to, you don’t have to!

  • Gifts – Historically, guests would bring fruit to the newly wed couple, this would encourage fertility.

Let’s be extremely grateful this tradition has changed; today, you can near enough ask for anything! veil

  • Wearing a wedding veil – The wedding veil hides the bride’s beauty and wards off evil spirits. Another explanation is that during the times of arranged marriages the bride would cover her face until the groom had committed to the marriage. Some religions still have arranged marriages, in some Eastern ceremonies, both the bride and groom are ‘protected’ by a veil.

However, for those deviant brides having a veil isn’t necessary. You may decide to have a veil but keep it attached to the back of your hair rather than covering your face. Today, many brides concentrate on their hairstyle, sometimes they don’t want a veil as it doesn’t fit in with their dress or hair ideas.

  • The wedding bouquet – The throwing of the wedding bouquet was introduced from America and it is said that whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to get married. In the 14th century, it was customary for the bride to toss her garter to a male guest, but the men regularly became too drunk and would become impatient and try to remove the garter ahead of time.

This is still a fun tradition; watching a group of your female friends fight to catch a bunch of flowers. You can guarantee if you decide to have a bouquet you will be asked by your family and friends to toss your beautiful arrangement into a mass of a frenzied mob. However, don’t feel pressured, if you don’t want to lose your bouquet and have planned on keeping it, freezing it, framing it etc. It’s advisable to keep tight hold or at least let your wedding party know they must be gentle. Let them know, you would prefer the flowers in one piece, not ripped to shreds as ‘Aunt Ethel’ has a petal, ‘Cousin Jane’ has a stem and your ‘7-year-old niece’ has a few flower heads. You could arrange for a separate bouquet to be made, one that you don’t mind being man-handled (or woman-handled).

  • Confetti has replaced rice or grain in modern times. Rice was thrown at the bride and groom to encourage fertility.

Isn’t it a relief that this tradition has changed to pieces of paper. Can you imagine having rice thrown at you? What if it landed in your eye? Dramatic but true! However, if you decide to have either confetti or rice (some churches only allow rice) be careful to which you choose as some confetti’s can leave stains (especially when wet). Some venues may ask that you only use metallic confetti and remember a handful of rice could feel like ‘hailstone’. Deviant brides may avoid confetti, rice or anything else that could be thrown!

  • Where to stand – The bride stands on the left of the groom during the marriage ceremony to allow his sword arm to be free ready to fight off other men who may want her as their bride.

This usually is the case; bride to left and groom to the right. This helps when exchanging rings, as for fighting off other men, well, that should be interesting!

  • Carrying the bride over the threshold – protects her from any evil spirits that may be lurking in the new home.

This is another fun tradition, even if you already live together. Forget the evil spirits, it’s an excuse to have a cuddle and a giggle. Advice; mind your head and make sure he minds the step. You don’t need a visit to the hospital with black eyes and broken bones!

  • Dominance – The first to buy something after the wedding will be the dominating influence in the marriage.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean ‘the first to buy a drink’, but you could buy something from your chief bridesmaid; ‘can’t you buy a brand new lip gloss from your friend to give to your bridemaid?’ There’s always a way ladies … but remember, it’s only a bit of fun.

  • Secrets of the wedding dress – It is good luck for the groom not to see the dress before the wedding day. It will bring more luck if he does not glance at the dress as the bride walks down the aisle.

Many couples stick with this tradition. Most brides stress that their other-half won’t like their dress, however, it’s you he is marrying, not the dress. You will find he will be blown away, as when has he ever seen you in such glamorous attire? Unless, you have some strange fetishes! But let’s move on. If you do believe this tradition is bad luck, what about all the other traditions? Let’s face it no marriage would have a chance! You can discuss options with your new-hubby-to-be but ultimately the decision should be yours. The real deviant bride would let him look through magazines and express his opinion. Those deviant brides who exceed this ‘rule book’ would take him shopping!

  • Trying on the full attire – It is bad luck for the bride to try on her full attire and look in the mirror before the day of the wedding. Sometimes last minute stitching would be kept until the day of the wedding.

WHAT??? Don’t be leaving any stitching until the day of your wedding; you will have so much to worry about with your hair, make-up and getting there the last thing you want to think about is stitching your dress! Plus, you will probably want to see if everything you have chosen matches. If you do decide to have pearls but have a champagne coloured dress, how will you know if your pearls match? What about your shoes? You may want to see if your shoes match your dress, you will definitely need your shoes on for your final dress fitting as it could end up too long or too short. This will be the most important and memorable day of your life, for the sake of your own sanity, don’t follow this tradition – a deviant bride or not!

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